Codependency is not a bad word. Codependency is more common than one may think. Here are some examples of how codependency in relationships shows up:
– Blurred boundaries between you and your partner
– Having a difficult time honoring your own needs and feelings
– Taking too much responsibility for what someone else does (you try to cover up or fix your partner’s mistakes)
– Giving up your core needs and calling it a “compromise” then feeling resentful and getting upset
– Focusing on other people’s problems more than your own
– Trying to convince another person to change an aspect of themselves over and over again
– Complaining and threatening to leave the unhealthy relationship but staying and trying to control the situation instead
– Pressuring your partner to take steps in a relationship they are not ready for (move in together, get engaged, married, have children, etc.)
Codependency in relationships
Codependency in relationships makes us rely on someone else for happiness, and we lose our sense of self in the process.
Because codependency has a negative stigma attached, it can leave those struggling with it with feelings of shame. In situations where there is addiction, infidelity and relational chaos symptoms such as hypervigilance, increased anxiety, depression, and irritability are normal trauma responses.
But when individuals get labeled “codependent” they often feel that they are the problem and the cause of someone else’s struggles and bad choices. However, all those behaviors are attempts to seek emotional safety. They are trauma responses and coping mechanisms.